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'Belize Sunset'
"The most alluring clouds that mount the sky, Owe to a troubled element their forms, Their hues to sunset. If with raptured eye We watch their splendour, shall we covet storms..."
quote excerpted from miscellaneous sonnets, II by William Wordsworth 1888
13 Jun 2004 - Grandpa Joe Died
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Dear Diary,
Last night I recieved some sad news. My ex-husbands father died. My children are there in Utah with their dad for the summer, so they did get to see their grandpa one more time. The ironic thing about this is that every summer for the past 4 yrs, that my children go to see their dad, someone in his family died. Last summer my children stayed with my mom ( their Mema ) but the summer before they stayed with their dad, and aunt Tammy who lived with my ex, died in the house while David ( my ex ) took them to the movies, when they got home, he found her body. The year before that aunt Lisa died, and the year before that David's mother passed.My ex husband has lost his father, his mother, and two of his sisters in the past 4 1/2 yrs. He even lost me... because we seperated. His new girlfriend Charlene seems to be really good for him, and I hope he's happy. I don't know why but I get the feeling at times that David thinks I am always out to hurt him, which is not the case. I wish he knew that. Now that grandpa Joe has passed, David has no family left in Utah except for his step mom Heather, and his little baby brother Reese who is 5. If not for his girlfriend Charlene I doubt he'd stay there. His only sister is in Nevada, and the girls live out here, I am sure he'd move out here to be near the girls. I feel really bad for him. I know that grandpa Joe, his mom Judy, and his two sisters Tammy & Lisa are not "Gone" I know they are still around him, and he just doesn't know it, because he can't see or hear them... but I know they're there. I've been reading a lot of books over the past 10 yrs on this subject, and I personally feel that I should persue this as my life. I don't know why but a big part of my life has been filled with coincidences, psychic experiences, deja-vu, intuitive happenings, and dreams filled with loved ones that have passed, not to mention a lot of ghostly experiences. My family comes from a line of people who I know have had psychic abilities. Everyone does, just some do not use it. Our family is one of those that know it's there, but don't develop it. I want to develop mine. I used to be very curious about it, and then that developed into yearning to know more, and now that I feel that I know for a fact that we do not "die" and cease to exist after we die... I know with all my heart that spirits exist, and that there is so much more, I want more than anything to open up to communicate with the dead and enlighten others. I don't want to do it for money, or to trick people.. I want to do it because I know I have the gift to do it, it is going to be hard for me, because I will have to open up more of my heart to others, and although I am very friendly, I tend to guard my feelings and to love really,.. very few. That part of me is going to have to change. I will have to learn to balance so many things... however... I know I have it in me. I've known my entire life. That's all for now.... Rhonda
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My perpetual mood: 
 | 'Forgotten Things' "Moreover, something is or seems,
That touches me with mystic gleams,
Like glimpses of forgotten dreams-- Of something felt, like something here;
Of something done, I know not where;
Such as no language may declare." Quote excerpted from "The Two Voices"
by Alfred Lord Tennyson
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NOTIFY ME
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