|
'Belize Sunset'
"The most alluring clouds that mount the sky, Owe to a troubled element their forms, Their hues to sunset. If with raptured eye We watch their splendour, shall we covet storms..."
quote excerpted from miscellaneous sonnets, II by William Wordsworth 1888
8 Mar 2007 - Well.. it's been awhile....
|
|
I haven't written in a while... but I've still thought about it. I thought I wouldn't have anything to write about but I think that I do... so here I am. I started this diary a long long time ago in 2000. I'm one of the original writers from way back then... of which there are a good handful of them still here. I'm still in touch with one writer, she's a sweetheart named Beth aka JustAnotherBeth. It just so happens that she and ReallyRick found their way into Second Life, as did I, and we've been occassionally in touch with each other. Second Life is another one of those Virtual Reality chats, but unlike the others it has a thriving economy with potential to make real world income. So, in short, I've spent the last 2 1/2 yrs of my life spending time there... and not here in the diaryland that I once adored. So, why am I back? Well... there are a few reason. One of which is that I love writing and I have missed it. I'm not a professional writer in any sense of the word, I don't even think that I can class myself as an amateur writer. I'm just me, one person... and I love to write. Ok, another reason is I have been very depressed. Although this is not an uncommon thing these days, it is uncommon for me. See, I'm a very upbeat person, always optimistic, never seemingly sad... I've always loved meditation and spiritualism, and loved life and everything in it.... but something happened. I'm not even exactly sure what. I think I lost myself somewhere in the rubble of life. Well, I'll talk about that later. The other thing is... I have spent way too much time sitting, and I have put on some really unwanted weight... 2 1/2 yrs in a virtual life can leave you with a very real nonvirtual butt. I haven't hit the 200 mark, so I shouldn't really feel so bad... but my once sexy albeit volumptuous shape of 135 lbs is now bordering on a near frumpy shape of 185 lbs. 50 pounds in 2 yrs isn't very becoming to a girl with a small bone structure.... even at 135, I could have easily been considered overweight had it not been for the fact that most of it was muscle ( and boobs ). *giggles* In any case... I have decided to eat differently and start exercising. This will be a little bit about that, and my results... and since I am not doing the normal exercise program or eating a "diet" perse, I am hoping to inspire someone out there who might be in my situation ie: depressed, a bit overweight and shy, to find something in what I write to help them to be a better person for themselves as well as for their families. The last reason I wanted to write was because of my second life in Second Life.
I want to talk about it... I want to document it and bring it into my reality of my first life. I've protected it as much as I can and now I need to talk about it... it's time. I'm not going to ramble too much I hope about anything boring. I have way too much to say, and some of it might be Jerry Springer'ish... but I'm hoping that it's not. I've still got the same old question that I've always had my entire life.... "Why am I here?" where most other people know what they want to do with their lives there is a good portion of us that don't. I believe we are the seekers of our purpose and a lot of people I am sure identify. I've always felt there was a reason I was here, and I have spent a lot of time soul searching and seeking my reason for being. I've not been able to work a normal job, and live a normal life, because for some reason normal to me is boring and empty. Where someone else might get up and love their routine, exercise, work, come home, cook dinner, eat, go to bed repeat... that has left me very horribly horrified. I've secluded myself away from a lot of the world because I do not fit in this catagory... sometimes I feel alien in life, but I know that is only because of my shyness and my differences in opinion on a lot of things. Anyways.... I'm here again... and I will again start writing every day. I look forward to it, no matter what embarrassment I might cause myself.
Sorry for typos, run on sentances and misspelt words, yes, ... I should take creative writing classes and Grammar (sp?) 101... for now I'm relaxed about it, and I don't care to be the best writer, I just care to write.
Thanks for reading. Oh, and by the way... I'm no longer going to sign this diary CM ( short for CastleMistress ) But, I am going to sign it Heart, because that's my nick name...
my real name is Rhonda. I liken my nick name to my internet self... everyone has a nick name online, mine is Heart. :) If you wonder why, well it's my favorite symbol, and in real life I sign my name Rhonda with a little heart after my name... so truely, it's as close to knowing Rhonda as you get... the girl with the heart after her name... thus..."Heart". This entry is for Joe.
I will introduce you all to him later. ;) Love,
Heart
|
|
8 Mar 2007 - Beautiful Dreamer
|
|
I just thought I would post this here,... seems appropriate. Beautiful Dreamer
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd a way!
Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng, --
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me! Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea
Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn. Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,
E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart, --
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me! - by Stephen Foster
|
|
8 Mar 2007 - Only You ( poem )
|
|
I wrote this... I don't know why... for a girl on a dare by someone in the TAPS forums. I completely made this up and it was supposed to be me writing a love poem to her as if I loved her, it was a dare... and no I don't love her matter of fact I quite think she's a bitch, if not one of the more asanine moderators on the Taps forums... Yah, bitch, if I came to you in the night, I wouldn't be a kind Vampire, I'd rip your fucking heart out. :) Haha.. ok no I am just kidding.. but do you ever get those days when you just wanna become a royal bitch? ROFL I so do, but alas I'm too freaking nice! So, here it is anyways. There's only you
in the light of my eyes,
when I enter these rooms
my heart fills with sighs,
I come in the dark
like a princess in black,
through the window to see you
the moon at my back,
like a vampire I drink
from the light you reflect,
like a monster I cower
from eyes that detect,
In the shadows I wander
my spirit alone,
Under benches in gardens,
Under pebbles and stone
I cower away
from the light of the day,
but at night my love,
I'm behind every moon ray.
Written by Me :)
In any case.. I am true to my dares, if someone dares me to do something if I make the dare, I keep it.. I think I said something like "I think that so and so is really a woman ( someone with some name that could be either or ) and I said to this other person, I bet you anything it is, and he just happened to think that my dare needed substance, so he said "Ok if you're wrong you have to write a love poem to **** (he being her ex, and he knew she couldn't stand me and hated me ) and I took him up on the dare... out of spite,... I figured if he lost it would be funny for me to see him write the same type of thing to Jason, the main guy from Ghost Hunters.. like yah, sure buddy and if you lose you gotta write a love letter to Jason.. well guess who lost? ME! So... here is the poem I so graciously wrote to the one person in the forums who most hated me and made my life there most miserable. ) P.S. I wouldn't really rip her heart out I was just being a "bitch" but I am really not one and I just pretend to be. In any case.. it was a fun little poem to write, even though it was written on a dare. La La La... so be life!
I have some more to post...and some ghost stories when I get around to it.
|
|
My perpetual mood: 
 | 'Forgotten Things' "Moreover, something is or seems,
That touches me with mystic gleams,
Like glimpses of forgotten dreams-- Of something felt, like something here;
Of something done, I know not where;
Such as no language may declare." Quote excerpted from "The Two Voices"
by Alfred Lord Tennyson
|
NOTIFY ME
|
| |
|
|
|
|
![[Powered By MySQL]](/images/mysql-04.gif)